


3

by gillasue345



Series: SPN Prompt Drabbles [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Canon Compliant?, Gen, John writes to Mary, teenchesters fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-15 23:51:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1323889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gillasue345/pseuds/gillasue345
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>3. Write from the point of view of your least favorite character.</p>
<p>April 2, 1991 <br/>I know I shouldn’t have, but Mary I bought another bottle today. I know I promised you I’d stop, and I’ve tried Baby, I’ve tried so hard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	3

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Describe the smell of the Impala.   
> 2\. Write about a pre-series headcanon.   
> 3\. Write from the point of view of your least favorite character.  
> 4\. Write from the point of view of your favorite character.   
> 5\. Write your idea of how the series finale should go.   
> 6\. Describe a “Winchester special” motel room.   
> 7\. Write a songfic for *character* with this *song*  
> 8\. Write about a pairing you don’t ship.   
> 9\. Write a coda/missing moment from *this episode*  
> 10\. Write from the point of view of the monsters the Winchesters hunt. What bedtime stories do they tell their children?   
> 11\. It’s *this character’s* birthday. What happens?   
> 12\. Write from the point of view of a dead character as they watch over the brothers.   
> 13\. Write an spn fic with the word “water” as the inspiration.   
> 14\. Describe Bobby’s library.   
> 15\. Most heartbreaking headcanon.   
> 16\. Write cavity inducing fluff about *this pairing* (in progress: deancasbenny)  
> 17\. Write about *this kink* with *this pairing*  
> 18\. Write about *this pairing* with *this AU*   
> 19\. Write meta about *this scene/episode/character*  
> 20\. Genderbend *this character* How does it change them? What remains the same?   
> 21\. Write about Dean going to a baseball game with Ben.   
> 22\. What if *character* hadn’t died? Write about what would be different.   
> 23\. Write about *this body part/feature* of *this character* Write it from the point of view of someone who loves them.   
> 24\. Write from the Impala’s point of view.   
> 25\. Write from the point of view of *this angel*  
> 26\. Send me something else if you want.

*John Winchester*

_** “She would have killed me, and taken Sammy, but Dean came through. I don’t have any words for how proud I am of him. His brother’s under some kind of spell, there’s a giant monster made out of train parts coming after me, and he has the presence of mind to find this journal and read the exorcism out of it… We’re on the road again. How am I going to explain to Sammy that we’re not going back to school? How am I going to explain Ms. Lyle? To top it all off, I had to give Sammy a sharp lecture on not talking to strangers. While I was on the phone with Bobby, he just got out of the car and went up to a black Seville. I read him the riot act—Dean too, since he let it happen and it’s his job to watch Sammy.” ** _ **** (John Winchester’s Journal. Irvine, 74)

April 2, 1991 

I know I shouldn’t have, but Mary I bought another bottle today. I know I promised you I’d stop, and I’ve tried Baby, I’ve tried so hard.

I needed something to dull the pain.

The boys aren’t speaking to me. But that’s okay. They have to learn. Sam’s mad that we’re on the road again. Dean’s mad that I took my anger and frustration out on Sam for being so _stupid_ and _careless_ enough to _talk to a stranger._ I shouldn’t have spanked him so hard Mary. I’m so sorry.

Dean, bless him, pushed me away from his Sam with every ounce of strength he had in his stocky 110 lbs, tackled me to the ground. He was like an angry tiger protecting his cub, Mary, and I don’t know who was more shocked, me or Sam. “If you ever touch him like that again,” he whispered, his voice even. “I don’t care who you are, you’re a dead man. Do you understand me?”

He has your fire, Mary. I wish you could see how strong he is.

Sometimes I miss you so much I can’t look at him. Sam is so much more like me than either of us would care to admit.

I’m so drunk, I can almost see you standing in the corner of the room. You’re wearing that lace nightgown that you always wore on our anniversary. The one with the weak strap and frayed hemline. I can reach out my hand right now and probably feel the detergent-soft lace between my fingertips, but that would require me to let go of the bottle, and I can’t do that just yet.

I walked away from another job today. I’m so sorry. The boys were just getting settled here in New Mexico. Dean had even made a friend on the baseball team.

All that’s over now. Ms. Lyle ruined it all. There was a creak in the floorboards behind me, and I turned around, the nearly empty bottle fell, shattering on the ground beside me. Hope filled me up, constricting my heart as panic threatened to overwhelm me. Is that you Mary?

But it wasn’t you, my love. It was Dean. He stood in the doorway of the suite in a faded pair of thrift store pajama bottoms and threadbare t-shirt from a school he never went to. He glanced down at the broken bottle around my feet and sighed.

I lowered my shotgun.

“C’mon, Dad. Let’s get you in bed. It’s late and we have to get outta here early,” Dean murmured. He grabbed my discarded boots, slipped on the ratty tennis shoes he’d grown out of the previous summer and tiptoed over to where I sat, carefully avoiding the shards of glass. He carefully pushed the biggest shards of glass out of his way and knelt down to help me into my shoes.

He takes such good care of me, Mary. You should be so proud of him.

He put my arm over his shoulder and hefted me up with a grunt. We swayed to the left and I giggled; it felt like that Egyptian boat ride we went on during our first date. The swoop of gravity, my stomach rising up into my throat as it swung down and around. Do you remember that? You didn’t want to be there, but I won you that stuffed tiger, and you smiled, and I fell for you right then and there.

I think I started crying some time ago, but Dean hasn’t said anything. He helped me to the bed and pulled off my boots. He helped me out of my leather jacket, and I watched as he carefully wrapped it around his hands before setting it on the bedside table.

He pulled the covers up over my chest, and I swear in that moment, the guilt almost shattered me.

I should be doing this to him.

I should be the one kissing him goodnight.

Where did it all go wrong, my love?

I reached out just before Dean was too far away. _I’m sorry_ , I wanted to say. _I’m so sorry I’ve failed you so much._ “I saw a flyer for a fair up in Lea County. Do you and Sam wanna go?” I said instead. 

“Dad, that flyer was for last August.” Dean was exasperated, trying to get me to pass out. “Go to sleep, we’ll talk in the morning,”

Shame welled up, a sour, bitter thing, reminding me of my many failures.

“This summer we’ll go to a fair. You can have fried pie and Sam can hustle the carnies with darts. It will be fun. I promise. We’ll have fun.”

“Alright Dad, that sounds like fun,” Dean said. He turned out the light then, and padded back over to he and Sam’s bed.

“Goodnight, son. I love you.” I whispered.

The only noise in the room after that was the choked sobs that Dean tried to hide and I pretended not to hear before finally, blissfully falling asleep.

_ I’m so sorry Mary. I’m so sorry. _


End file.
